Week in review and a diagnosis for the girl child
It has been an eventful week here in the Donkey Burger household.
Tuesday we had our parent-teacher conferences for both kids. The girl child has made huge strides this year in her reading and math and is doing very well academically except that her spelling/writing continue to be a concern. Her teacher offered nothing whatsoever in the way of solutions to this problem, which is typical of her, unfortunately. So we'll be looking into that a little more closely over the summer and seeing what we can do to help the girl get up to speed.
The boy is also excelling academically, which is no surprise because this school happens to teach the way he learns. Most of his lower grades have been due to problems with organization, which relates back to his disability, which they were supposed to be helping him with through general education since he doesn't qualify for services, but that hasn't happened. We expressed frustration; his teacher apologized. We asked if she would fill out her teacher survey for the FIE any differently now than she did back at the beginning of the school year when she'd only known the boy for two weeks and she said YES, ABSOLUTELY. So that was encouraging.
Wednesday the boy had occupational therapy but didn't want to work on bike riding, which was NOT encouraging. He said he would do it next time and we are going to hold him to it.
Thursday when I dropped the kids off at school, I mentioned to the vice principal that I would be emailing her (so it would be in writing, because if it's not in writing it DOESN'T EXIST) to let her know that we are asking for the boy to be re-evaluated at the beginning of the next school year. She told me she thought that was likely to be an exercise in futility, so I had to go all medieval on her ass and start listing off the MULTIPLE discipline issues the boy has had this past school year, ALL of which relate back to his disability (particularly his inability to read social cues and process sensory input), along with the fact that we had spoken with his teacher and she thought the re-eval was a good idea. I haven't written the email yet because it's obvious to me now that I will have to draft it in legalese and I want to make sure I do it right. I'll definitely send it off sometime this coming week.
Friday was our school's version of Field Day, wherein the kids do all sorts of outdoor activities (about half of them involving water in some way). This has traditionally been a very difficult day for the boy child because of the multiple transitions he has to make (they also attend seminars both indoors and outdoors and so they end up changing locations/activities every 30 minutes all day long) and also because of the sensory overload. And so every year, I have to stay at school to act as the boy's aide/chaperone on this day.
He actually did very well this year in terms of the number of freakouts he had. The first thing the did was attend "opening ceremonies" which consists of sitting in a parking lot hearing a pep talk from the principal. It had rained the night before and the blacktop was wet, so the boy didn't want to sit down on it. His teacher finally talked him into just squatting down, but he wasn't altogether happy about it. Next his class had their first round of outdoor activities involving water and he did REALLY well with that. He has worked very hard to overcome his sensory defensiveness where water is concerned (particularly water on his face) so he was able to participate just fine. Next we headed indoors for an assembly and he did fine sitting on the floor of the cafeteria for that and dealing with the noise issues. Next we headed to the gym for some aerobics and he LOVED that. Then we went back to the classroom for a snack and the boy sat right next to me on the "story chair" and seemed really happy that I was there with him. Aw!
After that the kids played on the outdoor playscape for a while and that's where things started to go downhill, because there was a rock-throwing incident in which he was involved. Another boy (the one he's had problems with off and on all year) threw some pea gravel at the boy and I guess one little stone went in the boy's mouth and he choked on it (not CHOKED choked, because it was small) and then spit it out. The boy was VERY upset and spent a lot of time writhing on the ground making gagging noises and he was pretty teary afterwards. Fortunately it was time to go inside and watch a Kung Fu demonstration. The boy did okay with that but I could tell he was VERY scattered. The instructor had the kids do some moves and the boy was showing off a bit and not paying attention to where his body was and what it was doing, which lead to some bumps with other kids, which sort of got the boy all wound up and he was on the verge of spazzing out completely. When that was over, the kids headed next door for a craft project and that's when I took my leave because I had promised the girl I would eat lunch with her.
So I found my mom, who was also joining us for lunch, and the girl and we all ate hamburgers. The girl visited more with her friends than with us, which was fine. She is so easy at school! Why can't she be like that at home?!
The boy's lunch period overlaps with the girl's by 10 minutes, so I had to cut my visit with the girl short in order to find the boy (actually Mom found him, then we switched off while she said goodbye to the girl). The boy child's teacher told me there had been a minor incident during the craft class in which the boy had gotten upset, which didn't surprise me. Oy. They eat lunch outside on field day and the boy was really not happy about that because he'd had enough of the outdoors by then. The ground was wet so I ran off to my car to fetch a blanket for him to sit on. Then he saw a bug and started freaking out and crying and saying he wanted to go inside. Mom and I had to form a human shield around him, with her on one side and me on the other, standing practically on top of him and waving our arms to keep the bugs away while he finished his lunch.
After lunch we had another outdoor activity session and surprisingly, the boy was just fine! He did some more water games and played on the playscape without incident. Then it was back inside for two more seminars and then we were DONE! Hurray!
But our day wasn't over! After we got home from school, my parents came back over to stay with the kids (and take them to taekwondo) so that DH and I could meet with Dr. H about the girl child. We had been very much looking forward to this appointment because he was going to give us the results of all the testing he had done with her and tell us his official opinion on what her diagnosis was.
And the verdict is: bipolar disorder. Dr. H said she definitely fits the diagnostic criteria. Which, while not a surprise, is not exactly good news. In fact, it really kind of sucks. The next step, according to Dr. H, is to decide whether we want to do medication (that's actually more of a "when" than an "if", because there's not much else you can do for bipolar apart from medication) and if so, then we have to try to get in with a child psychiatrist. (Dr. H is a psychologist and can't prescribe meds.) There are things we can do to deal with the rages she has, and he gave suggestions for that. And once she's stabilized on some sort of medication, we can look at any behavioral "leftovers" and see if she might benefit from some behavioral therapy in addition to the medication.
What we will likely do FIRST is get a second opinion. Not because we disagree with the diagnosis, but because it's a pretty major thing and we want to be absolutely sure. I'm not really able to look beyond that first step right now, because it's all a little overwhelming. I have a LOT of reading/research to do and we don't want to go off half-cocked, but we WILL be getting her some help.
I am exhausted.
Tuesday we had our parent-teacher conferences for both kids. The girl child has made huge strides this year in her reading and math and is doing very well academically except that her spelling/writing continue to be a concern. Her teacher offered nothing whatsoever in the way of solutions to this problem, which is typical of her, unfortunately. So we'll be looking into that a little more closely over the summer and seeing what we can do to help the girl get up to speed.
The boy is also excelling academically, which is no surprise because this school happens to teach the way he learns. Most of his lower grades have been due to problems with organization, which relates back to his disability, which they were supposed to be helping him with through general education since he doesn't qualify for services, but that hasn't happened. We expressed frustration; his teacher apologized. We asked if she would fill out her teacher survey for the FIE any differently now than she did back at the beginning of the school year when she'd only known the boy for two weeks and she said YES, ABSOLUTELY. So that was encouraging.
Wednesday the boy had occupational therapy but didn't want to work on bike riding, which was NOT encouraging. He said he would do it next time and we are going to hold him to it.
Thursday when I dropped the kids off at school, I mentioned to the vice principal that I would be emailing her (so it would be in writing, because if it's not in writing it DOESN'T EXIST) to let her know that we are asking for the boy to be re-evaluated at the beginning of the next school year. She told me she thought that was likely to be an exercise in futility, so I had to go all medieval on her ass and start listing off the MULTIPLE discipline issues the boy has had this past school year, ALL of which relate back to his disability (particularly his inability to read social cues and process sensory input), along with the fact that we had spoken with his teacher and she thought the re-eval was a good idea. I haven't written the email yet because it's obvious to me now that I will have to draft it in legalese and I want to make sure I do it right. I'll definitely send it off sometime this coming week.
Friday was our school's version of Field Day, wherein the kids do all sorts of outdoor activities (about half of them involving water in some way). This has traditionally been a very difficult day for the boy child because of the multiple transitions he has to make (they also attend seminars both indoors and outdoors and so they end up changing locations/activities every 30 minutes all day long) and also because of the sensory overload. And so every year, I have to stay at school to act as the boy's aide/chaperone on this day.
He actually did very well this year in terms of the number of freakouts he had. The first thing the did was attend "opening ceremonies" which consists of sitting in a parking lot hearing a pep talk from the principal. It had rained the night before and the blacktop was wet, so the boy didn't want to sit down on it. His teacher finally talked him into just squatting down, but he wasn't altogether happy about it. Next his class had their first round of outdoor activities involving water and he did REALLY well with that. He has worked very hard to overcome his sensory defensiveness where water is concerned (particularly water on his face) so he was able to participate just fine. Next we headed indoors for an assembly and he did fine sitting on the floor of the cafeteria for that and dealing with the noise issues. Next we headed to the gym for some aerobics and he LOVED that. Then we went back to the classroom for a snack and the boy sat right next to me on the "story chair" and seemed really happy that I was there with him. Aw!
After that the kids played on the outdoor playscape for a while and that's where things started to go downhill, because there was a rock-throwing incident in which he was involved. Another boy (the one he's had problems with off and on all year) threw some pea gravel at the boy and I guess one little stone went in the boy's mouth and he choked on it (not CHOKED choked, because it was small) and then spit it out. The boy was VERY upset and spent a lot of time writhing on the ground making gagging noises and he was pretty teary afterwards. Fortunately it was time to go inside and watch a Kung Fu demonstration. The boy did okay with that but I could tell he was VERY scattered. The instructor had the kids do some moves and the boy was showing off a bit and not paying attention to where his body was and what it was doing, which lead to some bumps with other kids, which sort of got the boy all wound up and he was on the verge of spazzing out completely. When that was over, the kids headed next door for a craft project and that's when I took my leave because I had promised the girl I would eat lunch with her.
So I found my mom, who was also joining us for lunch, and the girl and we all ate hamburgers. The girl visited more with her friends than with us, which was fine. She is so easy at school! Why can't she be like that at home?!
The boy's lunch period overlaps with the girl's by 10 minutes, so I had to cut my visit with the girl short in order to find the boy (actually Mom found him, then we switched off while she said goodbye to the girl). The boy child's teacher told me there had been a minor incident during the craft class in which the boy had gotten upset, which didn't surprise me. Oy. They eat lunch outside on field day and the boy was really not happy about that because he'd had enough of the outdoors by then. The ground was wet so I ran off to my car to fetch a blanket for him to sit on. Then he saw a bug and started freaking out and crying and saying he wanted to go inside. Mom and I had to form a human shield around him, with her on one side and me on the other, standing practically on top of him and waving our arms to keep the bugs away while he finished his lunch.
After lunch we had another outdoor activity session and surprisingly, the boy was just fine! He did some more water games and played on the playscape without incident. Then it was back inside for two more seminars and then we were DONE! Hurray!
But our day wasn't over! After we got home from school, my parents came back over to stay with the kids (and take them to taekwondo) so that DH and I could meet with Dr. H about the girl child. We had been very much looking forward to this appointment because he was going to give us the results of all the testing he had done with her and tell us his official opinion on what her diagnosis was.
And the verdict is: bipolar disorder. Dr. H said she definitely fits the diagnostic criteria. Which, while not a surprise, is not exactly good news. In fact, it really kind of sucks. The next step, according to Dr. H, is to decide whether we want to do medication (that's actually more of a "when" than an "if", because there's not much else you can do for bipolar apart from medication) and if so, then we have to try to get in with a child psychiatrist. (Dr. H is a psychologist and can't prescribe meds.) There are things we can do to deal with the rages she has, and he gave suggestions for that. And once she's stabilized on some sort of medication, we can look at any behavioral "leftovers" and see if she might benefit from some behavioral therapy in addition to the medication.
What we will likely do FIRST is get a second opinion. Not because we disagree with the diagnosis, but because it's a pretty major thing and we want to be absolutely sure. I'm not really able to look beyond that first step right now, because it's all a little overwhelming. I have a LOT of reading/research to do and we don't want to go off half-cocked, but we WILL be getting her some help.
I am exhausted.
posted by Miss Anthrope at 11:32 AM
